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Midwife, I’m so proud of you!

Dear New Midwife,



CONGRATULATIONS! You did it!! I know the last 25 births (plus!!) have been a wild ride but you made it through and are now flying in the “promised land.” It’s exhilarating, right?! Being a student midwife is quite the ride and while it would have taught you so many useful things, allow me a moment to add a few lessons to your list. These were born out of my first year practicing as a solo midwife, and then in a partnership, and are meant to encourage you along your journey. I in no way have this figured out - I’m just as new as you! But take what I am saying to heart, even in your well-deserved excitement right now!


Midwifery is hard. Yes, yes, I know you’re aware of that. But let me say it again: MIDWIFERY IS HARD. It’s not the late nights and long days. That’s the easy part! Physical exhaustion can be overcome. It’s the mental and emotional toll that midwifery requires that makes our job the hardest on the planet. It’s the 3am phone calls (because mama is used to calling an answering service, not a personal cell number) when you just got into a deep sleep asking a question that could wait for daylight hours to be answered. It’s the redoing mountains of paperwork over and over because the insurance company decides that a period should go here, not there. It’s the client who doesn’t take your words of warning seriously and questions everything you’re saying in the moment that you just don’t have time to question. It’s the being up at night (or during the day) questioning yourself and whether you actually have the capacity or not do this for real. Again, midwifery is HARD. Embrace it.



  1. Never attend births alone. Yes, it’s easy to want to “prove yourself” to the world, and to yourself. But remember that our job is to bring safety and that is NOT done with just one midwife! There WILL BE TIMES when 2 midwives are desperately needed. The trouble is that you can’t predict which birth will be that birth! Do yourself a favor and just have another midwife with you.


  2. Throw your ego out the door. Yes, you graduated. And that’s amazing! But Midwife, there is still so, so much to learn! 25 primary births are just nowhere near enough to see all there is to see! Honestly, a lifetime of births will never be enough! So be humble enough to set your ego aside and allow more seasoned midwives to speak into you while you are speaking into your mamas.


  3. Trust birth, but also don’t. Birth is safe…until it’s not. And we live in a fallen world! There will be twists and turns that require more from you than you feel able to give. So trust that the body knows, but also be on a constant vigilant lookout for the unexpected. Because it can be lurking right around the corner.


  4. Stay calm, even when the mec hits the fan. Nothing good comes from panic. Your thinking brain shuts down which makes competent decision-making impossible. Even in situations that you feel unprepared for, trust your training. You know what to do. Just keeping putting one foot in front of the other.


  5. When in doubt, transfer. Don’t be afraid of the T word! It doesn’t make you a bad midwife if you transfer more than you (or anyone else, for that matter) think you should. Don’t wear a low transfer record around your neck like a medal waiting to be shown to the world. You have nothing to prove! A birth at home is "A goal", not "THE goal." Safety first! See number 4.

  6. Find your champion(s). While you are competent and a midwife in your own right, you can’t - and shouldn’t! - do this on an island. Find your champion who will encourage you and believe in you even when you are doubting every inch of yourself. Allow them to speak life into you and to midwife you through your own hard times. They are crucial to your growth.

  7. Love your mamas fiercely. This looks different for each mama. What one mama needs will be very different than what another mama needs. This is part of the beauty of our model of care! Sometimes, loving your mama fiercely means “being mean” and telling her the cold, hard truth as her midwife. Do it kindly, gently, and with love but don’t be afraid to do it. This is why she hired you.

  8. Find what heals your body. I can’t stress this enough! Find whatever it is that will help your body not hold onto the trauma we see on a day-to-day basis. This is imperative to not only your own sustainability, but also to the health and well-being of every birth you walk into. Whether it’s a therapist, a book club, a knitting circle, or massage, find and do REGULARLY whatever it takes to heal your body from the emotional toll that is our job of being a midwife. (Pro hack: call @Christie Davis.)

  9. Enjoy the ride. No, this job of being a midwife is not easy. But it’s an amazing blessing to be able to walk with the families who trust us. It’s a high like no other and it’s a privilege and honor that is beyond words.

Midwife, I’m so proud of you! I know the hard work you’ve done and the sacrifices you’ve made to get to this point. They aren’t unseen! And we need you! Your community desperately needs you! So now that you’ve graduated and you’re a “real grown up midwife” who can do hard things, take these few pointers to heart knowing they come from a place of love. This new journey is amazing in every sense of the word. Go be the best midwife you can be!


Love,

Jill Snelson, CPM


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